Lindsay and Bryan's Story: Foster Care

Read Lindsay and Bryan’s Story to see how it all began!

On the day Bryan and Lindsay turned in their final documents for verification, PCHAS reached out about a three-year-old girl named Rylee-Rae and her 11-month-old brother Daniel.* The children needed a foster family, so they said “yes.” Bryan’s week off school was anything but restful, but it was wonderful. The family enjoyed the extra time together to get to know the kids and bond with each other; it seemed like a perfect match.

They loved on Rylee-Rae and Daniel for fifteen months and wrapped their family around the children. Their family, friends, church and community did the same—bringing hand-me-downs and supporting and encouraging them in different ways.

The couple pursued a relationship with the children’s mother, Kristi. Lindsay said, “We wanted her to feel like we’re in this together. Over time, she let her guard down, and we could sense that she didn’t feel defensive… she felt supported.”

When Kristi reached the goals Child Protective Services (CPS) and the court set for her, they were excited to celebrate the successful reunification. At the same time, her achievements meant change and loss for their family. It was hard to imagine life without Daniel and Rylee-Rae because they had become such an integral part of the family. Kristi shared her appreciation, and it eased their pain to hear her say, “You guys are family now. These [Cayden and Cameron] are their brothers.”

Bryan attributes this to Lindsay’s compassion and pursuit of a relationship with Kristi. He said, “She’s twenty years younger than us. She looks at Lindsay as a mentor instead of a competitor.”

Birth families do not have to maintain contact or offer updates after kids reunify, which can make the loss for foster families even harder. But, when they have a healthy and trusting relationship, they may welcome ongoing communication. This is what happened for Lindsay and Bryan, and they were ecstatic to find out Kristi wanted them to stay in Rylee-Rae and Daniel’s lives. For more than a year and a half now, the kids have spent one weekend a month with Bryan, Lindsay, and the boys. The moms are in regular contact, and the kids even refer to Bryan as “dad” because he has been the primary father figure in their lives. The friends and family who offered hand-me-downs continue to do so and are happy to share what they have with the kids, even after returning home. Lindsay says, “Everybody loves each other, and the kids are doing so well. Rylee-Rae is in Kindergarten and can read at a second-grade level. Bryan started calling her ‘smart cookie,’ and she really owned the name.”

Seeing the kids doing so well today is incredible, but Bryan and Lindsay acknowledge it was hard when they left. Lindsay quit teaching to stay home with the kids, so the house was empty during the day after they left, and she had much more time on her hands. “We were excited for Kristi’s success, but we didn’t have the confidence in her that we have today. That takes time… There were so many unknowns that we couldn’t control for their future.” They worked through their feelings as a family, found a rhythm in their new (former) family structure and made plans for an “epic” road trip with their boys as soon as school dismissed for the summer.

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Lindsay and Bryan’s Adoption Story

Lindsay and Bryan’s Advice for Future Adoptive and Foster Families

If you have ever thought about adopting or fostering, PCHAS offers weekly Online Info Sessions. They are a great way to learn how it all works. As Bryan and Lindsay said, “You’re not risking anything by going to an informational meeting!” CLICK HERE to sign up for an Online Info Session, or contact a Foster Care & Adoption Guide to learn more.

If you or someone you know is experiencing an unintended pregnancy, we offer free, non-judgmental counseling to explore the complexities of parenting and making an adoption plan. Call (713) 522-2800 for info. 

*Information about children in foster care and their families is confidential. We celebrate Kristi’s success and are grateful for her permission to share her story to help PCHAS find more safe, loving families who will partner with birth families with compassion and respect.