Grace and Andrew's Story

When Andrew and Grace gave birth to their son Milo, they started thinking in new ways about what it means to be a parent and family. They saw the joy a little one brings and felt the love that compels parents to want the very best for their children. Their new perspective also showed them how challenging it can be, especially considering some families' obstacles. “Becoming parents made us realize that some kids don't have a safe home environment," Grace explains. "It allowed us to be more empathetic to the journeys of birth families and children in foster care."

The concern never disappeared, so when Milo was 3 ½ years old, they began exploring foster care and adoption. Grace and Andrew attended an informational session with PCHAS and were surprised to learn that their military lifestyle wouldn't be a barrier since Andrew’s orders kept them in one place for a while. "We thought our work schedules would make it impossible, but the PCHAS team assured us that we could make it work," Andrew recalls.

They completed all the steps for verification in about nine months. Then, they met their Case Manager, D’Anna, who walked beside them through each of their four foster placements. The first, a little boy, reunited with his family. His parents value the relationship with Andrew and Grace and have stayed in contact, even years later. Over the next year and a half, Andrew and Grace (and Milo) fostered three more children in their home. Each new placement overlapped with the earlier one, creating a whirlwind of emotions for the entire household as kids arrived and left.

Saying goodbye was difficult, but the couple focused on making the most of their time with the kids. “There's no way to avoid the pain of loss when you’re attached, but we realized that's what these children need - a family to get too attached to," says Grace. "Often people would say, 'I would get too attached,' but we knew that's exactly what these children need. We need families to get too attached so these kids can develop secure attachments."

In early 2024, they received a phone call about a boy needing an adoptive family. Grace and Andrew knew his foster mom; it felt like a good match. After completing all the required steps for matching, Wally’s team chose Andrew and Grace. They welcomed Wally into their family and fostered him until he was legally ready to be adopted.

"Milo has handled it all with such grace. He's had to say goodbye to children he's grown to love, but he understands that our home is a safe place for them, even if it's just for a little while," Grace marvels. When they were completing Wally’s adoption in June, Grace asked Milo if he was excited to be a brother. As only a child could do, Milo reminded Grace and Andrew that he had been a brother for the past 2 years to all the children in their family. "[The adoption] felt like a wedding, with the same emotions - grief, excitement, relief," Grace recalls. Friends and family gathered to celebrate the occasion.

Andrew and Grace encourage others considering foster care or adoption to take the leap. "Yes, you'll get too attached, and yes, it will hurt," Grace says. "But it will be worth it. These kids need families who are willing to love them fully, even if it's for a short time."

For Andrew and Grace, the rewards of fostering and adoption far outweigh the challenges. "The small moments - like watching your child's face light up while you read them a bedtime story - those are the real essence of life," Andrew reflects. "We're grateful for the opportunity to provide that stability and love to children who need it most."

Andrew was initially concerned about all the different appointments and people involved in foster care, but he was pleasantly surprised by the PCHAS team's guidance. "Everything is filtered through the caseworker," he explains. "Having that relationship with D'Anna was huge.” They describe D’Anna as an advocate and appreciate how she helped them prioritize appointments and requests from team members.

As they look back on their journey, the couple is proud of the relationships they have built with the birth families of the children they fostered. "We were always under the impression that reunification was the goal," Grace says. "So, we made sure to maintain contact and keep the lines of communication open."

For Andrew and Grace, fostering and adoption has been a true test of their commitment. But through it all, they have learned that the pain of loss is worth the opportunity to provide a loving, stable home. If you want to be family for children who need one, connect with your Foster Care & Adoption Guide at fosteradopt@pchas.org or (281) 324-0554 or Join an Online Info Session to learn more.