The Emotional Rollercoaster of Returning Home

Living abroad, for work or any reason, can be wonderful. Life in a new country creates opportunities to experience other cultures, customs and ways of life. It can be a great time to travel to other countries and destinations nearby, and the memories made last a lifetime. Even amid the new and unknown, it is common to anticipate returning “home” to a life that is familiar and comfortable someday. Yet, it can be less common to think about and prepare for what it will be like when the time comes to move back to your country of origin.

It can be an emotional journey for many people. The moment you hear that you are moving back to your home country, your mind buckles into a rollercoaster. You think of the “ups,” like the excitement of being closer to friends and family, the sights and smells of shopping in a favorite store, or simply understanding how to navigate life more easily. You may also think of the “downs,” like losing the chosen family you worked hard to build, what and how you need to pack to move back or being unable to travel to other parts of the world spontaneously. Moving home means leaving a country and culture that you have taken time to learn, friends who may have become so close they feel like family and exchanging an adventurous and exciting lifestyle abroad for a more traditional one stateside.

Coping with the rollercoaster of emotions should begin the instant you learn you are moving back, but most people stay so busy they cannot focus on their feelings until after they return home. Whether you moved back to your hometown or somewhere new, most people report adjusting takes about 6-12 months. There are so many things to adjust to after you return, like finding a home and transportation, making new friends and finding “your” people, choosing schools for your children, and learning the new culture of the country you once knew so well. Depending on how long you have been away, you may feel like you have been in a time warp. Differences in clothing trends, cost, the amount of crime and news/media will be evident at every turn. You knew moving overseas would be an adventure, but coming home takes a toll, too. Returning to your home culture can be just as big an adjustment as leaving. Once you settle in, you may think the rollercoaster has ended, so just as you unbuckle your seat belt, you may begin to experience grief and loss or feel angry, frustrated, afraid, or overwhelmed.

This rollercoaster of emotions is natural and part of the process. Everyone’s experience is different, so it can be challenging to find balance if you feel others are navigating the changes with less struggle. Nevertheless, it is vital to give yourself grace, accept and embrace the rollercoaster you are on, and be honest about how you feel. You will eventually begin to feel more like yourself, but it is important to remember that your country has changed, and you have, too. You learned so much and you are not, and will never be, who you were before you left.

Finding a therapist who understands the intricacies of living abroad and returning home can be helpful. Alicia Mirabelli lived in Asia for 13 years before returning to the U.S. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with The Counseling Centers at PCHAS, and is available for appointments at our office in Cypress, Texas and virtually for Texas residents living anywhere in the state. Regardless of how you connect, Alicia will create a safe space to help you figure out how to move forward, no matter what you are going through. Schedule An Appointment or call (833) 208-3201 for a free consultation.