How to Show Love to Young Adults Who Aged-Out of Foster Care

When young adults turn 18 and emancipate (a.k.a. age-out) from foster care, they encounter young adulthood in ways most of us can't imagine. They experienced foster care because they were abused or neglected. Their family wasn't able to complete the steps needed for reunification, and they weren't adopted. They likely have friends, may have ties with relatives, hopefully have a good relationship with their foster parents, but they don't have a legal connection to anyone.

Who should they call when their car breaks down? Where are they welcome for the holidays? Who can they trust with questions about leases, financial aid, health insurance, and many others that arise as a young adult?

772 young adults aged-out of the Texas foster care system in fiscal year 2025. They spent an average of 53 months in foster care and moved through more than 9 placements*. Each was expected to become independent overnight, without the safety net most young adults rely on well into their twenties.

Years in foster care take a toll on youth, even in safe, loving foster families. It's only fair that many struggle to trust that those they care about will stick around. Now they're navigating adulthood, sometimes without a roadmap or anyone in their corner.

But you can change that. Here's how to show love to young adults who aged-out of foster care:

Stay connected. If you fostered or mentored a young person who aged-out, don't disappear when they turn 18. Keep calling, texting, and showing up. Let them know you're still there, even though the system isn't. Consistency matters more than you know.

Be family. Invite them to holidays, birthdays, and Sunday dinners. Include them in family traditions. Young adults who aged-out often spend holidays alone or working, watching everyone else celebrate with their families. Your invitation means the world.

Help with life skills. Many things that seem simple—like filing taxes, scheduling a doctor's appointment, or changing a tire—can feel overwhelming when no one taught you how. Offer to help without making them feel embarrassed. Show them how to do it so they can handle it next time.

Celebrate their wins. Graduating high school, getting a job, or finding an apartment are huge accomplishments for young adults who aged-out. Show up for these moments. Take them to dinner. Send a card. Let them know you're proud of them.

Be patient with setbacks. Life is hard, and young adults who aged-out face more challenges than most. They might struggle with jobs, relationships, or housing. They might make mistakes. Don't give up on them when things get tough. Love them through the hard times.

Offer practical support. Help them move. Drive them to appointments. Let them do laundry at your house. Buy them groceries when money is tight. These small acts of kindness remind them they're not alone.

Listen without judging. They've been through things most people can't understand. They might have trust issues, trauma responses, or complicated feelings about their past. Create a safe space where they can talk honestly without fear of being judged or rejected.

Offer resources when asked. If they come to you with questions about counseling, job training, housing assistance, or educational programs, help them find what they need. Many young adults who aged-out don't know what resources exist or how to access them. Your guidance can open doors—but let them ask first.

Young adults who aged-out of foster care didn't choose their story. They deserve people who will love them, believe in them, and stand by them as they build their lives. You can be that person.

Ready to help kids in foster care? Visit www.pchas.org/FosterAdoptEvents to learn more.

*https://www.dfps.texas.gov/About_DFPS/Data_Book/Child_Protective_Services/Conservatorship/Exits.asp