How You Form Relationships

As prospective adoptive families prepare to join their lives with kids, it’s essential to examine how they form relationships. This is a critical component in choosing the best route for welcoming kids into the family and is easy to overlook because most families have never done this before. We’ll share some things to consider as families think about their style of forming relationships and explore how it fits with fostering and adopting. 

Families who foster agree to provide kids with a safe and loving family for an indefinite amount of time. Fostering requires flexibility and a willingness to tolerate ambiguity. But focusing on the present helps many families build attachments in ways that are more natural as they live together, meet needs and show care.  

When kids in foster care need an adoptive family and it’s a good match, the transition to “forever family” can also feel more natural and progress at a pace that’s good for everyone in the family. 

In Matched Adoption, families know more about the children before they meet. But they commit to forever based on information, not chemistry or experience living together. Most people don't have experience forging a relationship this way, so it’s important to think carefully about their ability to adapt and make it work if they don't seem to "click" right away with the children they are adopting. The family will live together and receive support from PCHAS for six months before finalizing the adoption, but it’s essential that parents flex and adjust to connect with kids. If this type of arrangement sounds pressured or uncomfortable, fostering may be a better place to start. 

Foster Care & Adoption Guides are here for you! Call 281-324-0544, email fosteradopt@pchas.org to Connect With Us.