Charting a New Course

“What’s this?” asked Marty, holding a small, round device with letters and numbers.

“It’s something your grandpa gave me,” Daniel answered. “When you don’t know which way to go, it points you in the right direction. But it’s broken.” He dropped the compass into the kitchen junk drawer.

“You said to get rid of things that don’t work,” the four-year-old reminded him. “Why don’t you get a new one?”

Daniel paused. He remembered his father’s absence from the dinner table, his tired face and his short fuse when he arrived home. His father wanted to guide his children, but he was broken. And I keep going in different directions, too, Daniel thought. “You’re right, Marty. I need a new compass.” When Daniel met Kenda, a specialist in PCHAS’ Child and Family Program, he said that he wanted to learn better parenting skills. “He had a model for meeting a family’s financial needs, but not their emotional needs,” Kenda explains. “His dad was not very present and his mom used physical discipline regularly. Daniel wants a fuller relationship with Marty and to understand what is developmentally appropriate for him.”

As a divorced dad with sole custody, Daniel works full-time. His meetings with Kenda help him pay more attention to his own emotions and his parenting habits. Daniel realizes, for example, that he gets frustrated easily between work and dinner because he is worn out, so he is trying new ways to make an enjoyable transition to dinner. When Marty is upset, Daniel is learning how to comfort him but still provide healthy boundaries and expectations. Kenda describes the Child and Family Program as a way for parents to choose their goals and steer toward them. “Daniel does everything he can to be the best dad possible,” Kenda says. “Even with the responsibilities of a job and owning a home, he still makes it a priority to play with Marty and spend quality time helping him learn. Now, Marty has the security to grow into a smart, funny, caring, little boy, because his dad focused on charting his own course as a parent.”

PCHAS provides counseling to children and families facing challenges of all sorts. There is no cost and therapists may meet in the family home or another convenient location. Learn more by calling 800-888-1904 or contact us online.