Let It All Out

Five-year-old Jackie was safer than she had ever been, but she still didn’t feel safe. She hoarded food and had panic attacks. She guarded her emotions. Now, on a sunny Saturday, she was sobbing.

A few months before, the police had removed Jackie from her parents. She stayed with one foster family for a few weeks and has been with the Fallons since then. A PCHAS Child and Family specialist has helped the family understand the significance of Jackie’s trauma and how to handle her behavior. “She is wired to be afraid,” the specialist explains. “We’re working on assuring her that grown-ups will take good care of her.”

PCHAS social workers coach foster parents in Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) to address a child’s physical needs, attachment needs and fear-based behaviors. Originally Jackie was hiding food every day. Now, she has not hid anything in a month, which indicates that she is feeling safer and that her needs are being met.

That Saturday Jackie and her foster parents were moving to a larger house. Early in the morning, hired movers arrived. As they quickly boxed up dishes and groceries, Jackie was overcome with anxiety. The Fallons had told her that she was going along to the new house, but the disarray – the strangers in the house, the familiar things carried off – became too much for her. Mrs. Fallon took Jackie in her arms and said, “It’s alright to feel afraid, honey. Let it all out.”

Mrs. Fallon reminded Jackie that she was safe. She asked her husband to bring some boxes to the little girl’s room. “Let’s put your books in this one and your dolls in that one,” she said. Jackie drew pictures and printed her name on each box. Mr. Fallon used a magic marker to add, “Last On, First Off,” so that Jackie would see her favorite things as soon as possible. Then they walked from room to room, talking about times they had enjoyed in each of them, and said good-bye to the house.

The PCHAS specialist was delighted to hear how the Fallons showed affection and security to little Jackie. “They stayed right with her,” she said. “They stepped into Jackie’s despair and brought her back to trust. That’s exactly what every child is looking for.”

Child and Family Specialists meet with individuals and the whole family to build parenting skills, work on daily routines and develop healthy relationships. Learn more about this free service by calling 800-888-1904 or contacting us online.